There in lies the problem. I hate self horn tooting. If feels fake and egotistical. It feels manipulative and lame. And sometimes, I don't even know where my stupid horn is.
But I am determined to try. I tell my children and my yoga students if you never try-- you never know. SO as you read this be kind. Please. Don't think mean things about my thoughts or my grammar. I am not a grammar wiz, and I cannot spell my way out of a wet paper bag. And my 'h' key is sticking today so that should be fun.
SOOOO here goes nothing.......
I am a good yoga teacher. Some days I am a damn good yoga teacher. Some days I am mediocre. But here is the thing, every day I try. I show up and I give you my all. I show up even after the loss of someone I love. I show up even after a giant yelling match with someone I love. I show up when I have not slept because I am worried, or sick, or someone I love is sick. I show up, because YOU show up.
Some days, I show up and I have had plenty of rest and plenty of water and the home fires are burning and all is well in my world. I hope against hope that you cannot tell the difference.
I worry, a lot. I worry that my classes are not hard enough or gentle enough for you. That I am not professional enough. That I am too professional and not personable enough. That my classes are too expensive or not expensive enough. I worry that I won't be able to keep teaching yoga because I cannot afford to.
And that would break not only my heart but my spirit too.
Because I have so much to offer. So much to teach, so much still to learn so that I can share with you.
My style is gentle but not necessarily easy. I enjoy helping my students find the path that is right for them. I enjoy hearing everyone requests and piecing them together into a class that meets everyone's needs. I enjoy the interplay between the breath, the body, and the spirit. I am somewhat of a yoga snob. I believe to be yoga you must have a moment of quiet meditation before class starts. I believe savasana MUST be at least 10 minutes long. I believe the OM at the end of class is not only important it is really, really nice. I believe that there is no room for ego in a yoga session, student or teacher. I believe that work should be effortful, not painful. I believe effortless effort is a real thing. And I get annoyed when people call their form of exercise yoga....when it is not.
That is surely enough soul bearing for today. Ugh, that was not exactly fun. I feel all judgey with myself. It is taking a concentrated act of will not to press delete.
Still..... My goal is to write once a week---ok fine, once every two weeks, about the real life of a yoga teacher. The Good the Bad and the Awesome.
Now, I think I'll eat a bunch of these mini twix bites because if they are mini they don't have calories---right? (and enjoy the falling snow)
p.s. these are only my thoughts, mostly stream of conciseness. I am not referring to anyone or any thing. What is it that say in novels, 'any resemblance to any person or persons is purely coincidental'
yeah....that. Just assume that every time you read my blog. Oh, and thank you for reading and not judging me.